Friday Five

I haven’t had the chance to blog this week AT all, which feels so strange to me, so I thought I’d do a little catch up post before the weekend and start fresh on Monday!

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1. The greatest thing happened to me on Wednesday. A friend told me that one of my blog posts from July (this one, about my experience with fitness classes) was linked up on the Facebook page of the fitness studio that I had joined at the time. They posted my blog & mentioned me by full name, saying how awesome the article was. I was already so excited because I really do love the studio (and keep meaning to go back!) so I left them a comment saying thank you. A few hours later I got an e-mail telling me that they loved the post so much, they were setting me up with a free 3 month membership to the gym! That’s a 250$ value, and I am still trying to wrap my mind around the generosity of it. I went back yesterday and did two back-to-back classes, and thanked the owner of the studio personally for her generosity. I seriously love that place and I LOVE that I *technically* got paid for writing an honest review of something that I had been trying out at the time.

2. Because of the above point, I guess I’ve kind of started my February Change for 12 Changes early. The theme for February is fitness, but I’m getting a slow head start on it in this last week of January. I’m ready for it, and I think the added goal of getting back into shape is going to help me eat even HEALTHIER. I’m excited to share my smaller goals for the weeks of February, probably next week!

3. Yesterday I spent the entire day cooking with my sister-in-law. I headed over to my brother’s house and got there around 1, and after lunch we ended up making 4 or 5 different vegetarian/semi-vegetarian meals. My SIL is an AMAZING cook and even better she loves eating vegetarian meals, so she’s slowly showing me how to make some of her easier ones- and they really are quite easy! Here are some pictures of what we made together:

 

 

From top left:

a- “Everything” soup: includes spinach, cabbage, barley, carrots, zucchini, tomato, chicken broth, turkey/chicken, various other vegetables. This clearly isn’t a vegetarian dish, but it’s a ridiculously healthy one!

b- Eggplant: cubed eggplant cooked in the oven with diced onion, garlic, diced & crushed tomatoes, chick peas and parsley. This one is the BOMB, you guys. The. Bomb.

c- Semi-Vegetarian Pasta: homemade noodles cooked in a rose-alfredo (homemade) sauce with zucchini, tomato, sun-dried tomato, onion, green peppers and some shrimp. The alfredo sauce was made from scratch with a TON of cheese, sour cream, cream cheese, milk & a bit of flour (to give it a creamy consistency) and you guys, SO good.

d- The final product of what I’m bringing home! Includes a split-pea soup on the far left that I made, some yummy dip that is hidden in a closed tupperware, and a quick easy to make crab salad for sandwiches and whatnot.

4. I’ve been having a little bit of trouble adjusting to my new schedule this semester. Now that I’m only in school for a few hours on Wednesday evenings, my life basically revolves around work and school is just an after thought. To top it off, I’m having a lot of trouble paying attention to my teacher because his PowerPoint presentations are really dull. I really want to get back in the swing of things, but I think that mostly just means I need to organize my time better- something I wrote about LAST week and still haven’t had time to do. (Ha! “Time” to do? Did I really just write that?!) I’m simultaneously loving working more and going to school less, but ultimately I think I’ve just confused my body a whole lot.

5. I haven’t had nearly enough time to read in the last couple weeks and I NEED to change that. I miss reading. The other day I got to work extra early and sat down with my iPod and a book and had the best hour before my shift ever. I really need to start planning out some free time and working on the things that are important to me. I have SO many goals this year, if I don’t start sorting myself out I’ll never get there!

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That’s basically all that’s going on over here; lots of work, vegetables, cooking, some school, a little bit of me-time… OH and lots of nephew time. I will leave you with his cuteness:

 

What have you been up to this week? Anything I missed?! 

Going Vegetarian

At the beginning of the month, I decided that January would finally be the time that I try out vegetarianism for a week. I was pretty motivated to do it, though I honestly had NO idea how I would go about accomplishing it. I mean, I’m a pretty decent cook when I put some effort into it but I had never cut something out of my diet ENTIRELY. Especially not meat; something I have been relying on my whole life.

But people do it all the time and I was determined to be a little bit more independent in the kitchen, so I woke up on Sunday the 15th of January and decided that would be Day One of Going Vegetarian. I think Day 1 was the toughest because I had originally wanted to meal plan for my week and have things prepared by the time that Sunday came around, but I didn’t do any of that. I was SO determined to start on that day,  though, that I managed with the things we had in the house for that whole day plus the entire next day at work until I was able to go to the grocery store.

Since then? I’ve been completely vegetarian. I only cheated *once* but it was at the very end of my first week at a family dinner, and I barely ate meat at all. Despite never having eaten completely vegetarian (or really cooking for myself) I had a surprisingly easy time doing it. My mom was incredibly supportive of this new thing I was trying & she made me two huge pots of vegetable sauce. The sauce is AMAZING and goes on just about everything. I’ve been able to use it so far with pasta and quinoa, but I’m thinking I may use it to make eggplant parmesan very soon too.

Here’s the thing I HADN’T been bargaining on; I’m actually having a lot of FUN cooking for myself. I mean, I’ve never been a cook at all, but I’ve even become one of those people who goes online and prints recipes- AND MAKES THEM.

Here are some of the meals I’ve made since going vegetarian:

 

 

From top left: vegetable sauce- 3 cheese tortellini & raspberries in soya milk- fresh cooked quinoa toped with grilled carrots/green peppers/onions and topped with veggie sauce- sliced strawberries & banana in vanilla soya milk- hummus, v8, vine leaves and gluten free crackers (a little bit of everything lunch)- leak/broccoli homemade soup & a tomato/bocconcini cheese grilled sandwich.

After my first week was over, I decided to include fish back into my diet so that I could have some concrete source of protein. Although my mom is still eating meat and everyone around me is too, I haven’t given into temptation. I mean, there are those moments where I REALLY want what other people are eating, but then I remember just how happy I am right now with all these vegetables in my diet and I’m not ready to change that. I’m realizing that meat is an easy meal to make when I’m in a hurry, but cooking something yummy and vegetarian takes a little bit more thought. You need something that’s going to sustain you, and everyone is different when it comes to figuring out exactly what foods will do that for them.

As of right now, I’m sure that being a vegetarian isn’t going to be a permanent thing in my life. I would miss meat way too much and I don’t want to fully deprive myself of that just yet. I support vegans and vegetarians 100% though, it is a REALLY tough lifestyle to maintain. I’ve learned so much already in my time as a vegetarian/semi-vegetarian, and I’m just really excited to see where I go with this next.

I’m going to write up some important things I learned pretty soon, but I’ve been really excited to share my success story. I’d like to say that I believed in myself a whole lot, but the truth is that going into this I didn’t REALLY. I was motivated to complete the goal, but wasn’t sure I’d actually make it. Now that I’ve done it, I want to continue testing myself to see what other things I can diminish in my diet. Ideally, when I eat meat again (whenever that may be) I’d like it to be on a much less regular basis than before!

Most importantly, I know that I can eat meat now if I want to. When I say ‘no’ to it, it’s not because I’m depriving myself. I genuinely prefer my other potential options. I have SO many ideas for things to make next week, and I’m heading over to my brother/sister-in-law’s this afternoon so that they can show me how to make some of their favorite all-vegetarian recipes. Who AM I right now?!

Have you ever gone vegan/vegetarian? How was your experience? Would you ever try it? What are some of your favorite vegetarian recipes?

Giveaway Winner: Xperience Days

Hey everyone! I’m taking an extra day off blogging today due to exhaustion from my weekend, but I wanted to stop in and announce the winner to my Xperience Days giveaway!

I chose a winner using www.random.org. The winner is…

Congratulations Amanda, you win! I’ll also be sending you an e-mail with the details

Thank you to EVERYONE who participated, I think this was my most successful giveaway and I had tons of fun doing it.

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Now I’m off to enjoy a few hours of my Monday evening before heading of to bed extra early. I’ll be back tomorrow or Wednesday with some posts- I haven’t had any time to work on anything and now that I’m back to work I am extremely tired.

Hope you all had a fabulous weekend!

Music in 2012 [January Edition]

A few things before I get to today’s post:

1) Back in December I interviewed the incredibly talented musician Charlie Winston and my interview is finally up on the CONFRONT website. Check it out here and don’t forget to check him and his music out too! You’re in for a treat

2) Have you entered my giveaway for a 50$ gift certificate towards Xperience Days yet? It closes on Sunday night and I’ll be announcing the winner using random.org on Monday morning!

3) I was featured on Erin’s blog yesterday as a sponsor which I think is an awesome way of introducing bloggers to each other! You can check me out on her blog here & leave her a little bit of love

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One of my New Year’s resolutions was to spend more time talking about music around here, which I don’t think I’ve done once in 2012. So I thought today would be a great day to start!

Here are a couple albums that I’m loving so far this year (and that I think you should be listening to as well!):

Snow Patrol- Fallen Empires

I’ve been a Snow Patrol fan since 2007 when I first saw them perform live. I had only been to a few concerts by that time, and I remember leaving that one in COMPLETE awe. My heart literally ached the moment it was over because I wanted to be there all over again.

I’ve only seen them one more time since (2 years ago) but it was equally as amazing. Every album these guys put together is a solid compilation of really fantastic music, and then it turns out even better live. I don’t think there is any truer testament to a bands’ worthiness than what they sound like live. When an artist blows you away more in person than on a record, you know they’ve got real, raw talent. And that’s what Snow Patrol is like.

I’ve given this album 5 or 6 listens all the way through now, and each time I love it more and more. The tracks are starting to really resonate with me like every other album they’ve released. I can’t wait to see what they do with it live (when I see them in April, yay!) but until then, I’ll just keep on listening to the record and falling more in love with it.

Listen to: ”Called Out in the Dark”, “New York”, “Lifening”

Anthony Green- Beautiful Things

A year and a half ago I had the real pleasure to sit down with Anthony Green and interview him for CONFRONT magazine. At the time, I’d only kind of heard of him in passing but didn’t know a whole lot about him. Today, I think he is one of the best musicians I have ever interviewed. He was so honest with me and completely open about his life; I was not only impressed but really glad that I took the interview in the first place.

After interviewing him, I saw him perform live with his band Circa Survive and I have been in love with the band ever since. I think it’s kind of hard to LOVE a band when you see them for the first time; I can appreciate music when I hear it in the beginning and learn to enjoy it more as I get to know it better- but I can say that I actually loved Circa’s music after that live show. His live performance had such a profound effect on me and I can’t wait for him to come back to Canada!

This week, Anthony Green released his second solo record and let me just tell you right now; it’s amazing. His voice is so unique and conveys his emotions and his talent from the very first track. I am listening to the album as I write this and I’m really just amazed at the things his voice can do.

The sound on this album is VERY different from the work he does with Circa; it’s definitely less sad, for starters, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all. I think it just reflects the place he’s at in his life right now with his family, and I love that you can feel the different energy from his other work, despite the fact that it’s still the same voice. That’s just my interpretation of it after a few listens to the record- I could be completely off, but the recent pictures he took with his son don’t lead me to believe that in the least. When a musician is happy, their music is often a testament to that fact!

Listen to: “Do it Right”, “Can’t Have It All At Once”

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So basically those are the two albums I’m getting to know and really loving in the last couple weeks. There are a ton of records coming out that I’m SUPER excited about, and I just love that feeling!

What are you listening to and loving these days? 

Scheduling “me” time & my ideal day

I’ve always been the kind of person who needs a lot of time for ME. I love going out with friends and spending tons of time with family, but I’m not the type to schedule more than one thing in a day. If I work all day, I rarely feel good about doing something afterwards- I look forward to coming home and relaxing for the evening and basically doing my own thing.

Sometimes I feel like I spend TOO MUCH time by myself. I can usually spend two straight days at home before starting to feel like I need to get out for any reason, and when I make plans too many evenings in a row I tend to get really stressed about it and need to cancel somewhere.

I don’t know where I got this *need* to spend time by myself, but I just love it. I don’t function properly if I’m not home at a decent hour to get a good nights’ rest, and I don’t work well if I haven’t had the chance to do my own thing for a few hours before starting a new day.

Lately, I feel like every time I try and schedule time for myself, it never works out quite as I planned. Some nights (even Fridays and Saturdays!) I prefer the idea of cozy-ing up with a book and a mug of tea over going out to party. I don’t know if this makes me sound like an old lady, but that’s just the way it is! And it’s been many nights now that I haven’t been able to sit down and not feel like I should be doing something else.

I haven’t really written about it, but this semester I cut down my work load at school to only two classes; one online and one in school. So far it’s helped my anxiety and stress levels enormously, but I think I still have a lot of work to do. I KNOW that I’m a “me time” kind of person, and I really need to find a way to schedule my time accordingly. I’ve been feeling like everything I do is rushed and I somehow never have enough time to get anything done properly.

I know that I put the month of April as “procrastination” in my 12 Changes project to really focus on this situation, but I think the heart of the problem is more than just that. I need to organize my time better so that I don’t feel like I’m suffering from a schedule that I’ve made for myself. Even by cutting down on school, I’ve somehow found myself feeling more stressed than I’d like to be.

This week I’ve spent a lot of time trying to prepare meals to keep up with my vegetarian lifestyle after work, and the hour or so I get to myself I’m just too tired to even read. I’m going to finish up this hectic week, and starting fresh after the weekend I’d like to start finding a way to organize the hours of my day better. If that means cutting down on internet, then so be it. I just want to feel more productive without the added stress. 

I saw a blog post a little while back that outlined an “ideal day” and I loved it immediately. My schedule is so completely random from one week to the next (the perks of working retail) that I don’t think I could ever create an ideal day for myself, but any day for me would be ideal if it could include the following:

1) 7AM wake-up. 8am is *truly* ideal, but I think 7AM is a good time to get things done, especially on a work day

2) A work-out of some sort. Either 30 Day Shred style, or going to the gym/taking a fitness class

3) One hour of reading, at least! I love to read and never feel like I make enough time in my day for it. Not recently, anyway.

4) A decent bedtime, more often than not. I am not the kind of person who likes staying up late. 11pm lights off is truly ideal for me!

5) Some time to catch up on blogs & write my own. I have a habit of clearing out my Google Reader every day that I’m trying to quit because it’s so time consuming. Instead, I just want to read until I feel like moving onto something else, and spend more time just WRITING because I love doing it!

I’m recognizing that I am NOT the kind of person who can ignore myself and just live a crazy lifestyle without sleep or consideration for my own needs. I need “me” time and from here on out, I want to make sure that my schedule reflects that properly. I may not be able to have an ideal day every day of my life, but as of right now, I want to make sure that there are more of my days that feel good and PRODUCTIVE, rather than stressful and lacking the things I love.

I want to make more time for me and to do the things I love in my life, starting now. 

What does your ideal day look like? Are you a “me” time kind of person? Who’s up to the challenge to do more things you love in a day? 

Daydreaming of a faraway land…

The other evening I happened to be looking for a picture on Facebook, and I came across my album of pictures from my trip to Greece this past summer. On most days, seeing a picture from that vacation just makes me smile, but every once in a while I get nostalgic for those three weeks of my life.

The truth is that almost 5 months later, I still feel like I could have just stayed in Europe for a year and traveled and been completely happy. Most days I love being home to be with friends and family… But there are other days when I just feel like dropping everything and traveling the world until I’m just plain sick of traveling.

I’m so excited to go to Florida in just FOUR WEEKS (and a few days)! I need to get out of my city really badly. Not just because it hasn’t stopped snowing in, oh, 4 days? But because I love the freedom to learn a different city and explore new surroundings. Not to mention I’m going to be a wizard and move into Hogwarts this time around, so that’s always a plus.

But seriously, I can’t wait to get away, even if it’s just for 6 days. I’m already trying to decide when my next trip will be and how much I need to save because there is honestly NO feeling like the one you get when you’re somewhere entirely new. I would LOVE to spend a month of my summer visiting new places- maybe I’ll make it happen, but for now I’m going to just keep wander-lusting after every possible vacation I can.

Do you ever feel like spontaneously booking a vacation? Have you ever done it? 

January: 2 weeks in

First off, I just want to say thank you to everyone who commented on my post last week about writing anxiety. It looks like there are a LOT more people out there than I realized who have the same worries and fears as I do, and that alone makes me feel better. So thank you for reaching out and letting me know I’m not totally crazy!

Second, have you entered my giveaway yet?! You can still do it here!

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Today I wanted to take some time to review January so far. Every year, as December comes to a close & a New Year is just days away, I find myself having big hopes and ideas for the weeks to come. I always feel extra ambitious and set up all these goals and plans. Ideally, it’s at this time that I would accomplish the most because I am the most excited to make me a Better Me. But logically, that’s not quite what happens.

And so January is halfway through and I’m struggling a little bit with my goals, although not losing my motivation in the least. Saying that you’re going to DO something for the BETTER is one thing. But actually setting forth the actions to accomplish those somethings is an entirely different story. 

I currently have my list of 12 Changes up on my wall in a place that I can just look at them every day. Right next to that list, I have the goals I set myself up with for ‘health’ in January alongside the reminders like “10 minute rule” and “boredom does not equal hunger“. Many days in the last 2 weeks, it’s those rules that have prevented me from indulging when I knew I shouldn’t. But then there are the days where I pretend those papers aren’t on the wall at all, and I indulge anyway.

I’m only human, and I know mistakes happen, but I still feel really crappy when they do. Especially when I am my most ambitious and motivated Self.

These past two weeks, I have indulged, yes. But I have indulged only half as much as I normally would have. I made sure people were holding me accountable for my goals, because they are out in the open for everyone to see. My friends see them when they come over and questions ALWAYS come up, and I gladly oblige and explain to them what I’m doing (nervously, because I am a nervous person when it comes to sharing these things). I’m often happily surprised at how “on-board” everyone is with my project. My family knows too, and when I’m about to cheat I hear my brother saying “good for you” and I’m reminded that YES, it is good for me.

The first two weeks of January were meant to be a big “crappy food” detox but instead it turned into a “somewhat crappy food detox” and I guess that’s fine with me. There’s no point in looking back, right? Only forward. On the days that I ate super healthy, I felt great. I felt like the Better Me that I WANT to be. In the last two weeks of January, I’m holding myself accountable that much MORE. I want to finish off this month and confidently cross off my four goals for the month knowing that I accomplished them as best I could (not as HALF best I could).

The last two weeks of January should be interesting for me: I have a week of vegetarianism coming up (I’m 2 days in it right now, actually! More on that another day) and basically I want to cut even more crap food out of my life in these last 12 days or so. I had a conversation with a friend the other day and she made a good point- it’s nearly impossible to just cut out everything you love (even for a month) and all at once. It makes a person cranky, and I really hate being cranky. So I’m doing my “one month no junk food” my own way, and if all goes to plan I’ll still cross the goal off because I can SEE myself trying really hard. The rest of January is going to be the “try even harder” time, and I’m more motivated than before to just finish off this health month the right way.

Some homemade vegetarian pasta sauce, this veggie thing is lots of fun so far! 

January may not be the most exciting, extraordinary month of goals. But it’s still SOMETHING and I’m still keeping myself motivated and excited for the goals that I want to add in February. I’m nervous, but if I want to get to a point where I can incorporate more goals, I really have to get my head MORE in the game.

So, if you’ve read this far and you’re thinking “yeah, I could be doing better with my resolutions too!” then I encourage you to do it with me right NOW. If you give yourself no other option than to succeed (instead of indulging as I have in the past few weeks) then success is the only possible outcome, right? Let’s end January the RIGHT way.

If you’re participating in 12 Changes, how is month 1 going for you? Any slip-ups or exciting breakthroughs? What are your tips for succeeding all month? 

Giveaway: Xperience Days

Hey everyone! I hope you had an amazing weekend, mine was lovely and filled with time with my nephew and family

Nephew time Saturday AND Sunday. I’m spoiled! 

I thought that a great way to start off the week would be with a giveaway (who doesn’t love receiving awesome things for free?!) And you guys, this one is REALLY awesome. I mean, talk about something I fully plan on taking advantage of as I travel through the States!

Xperience days is an online store where you literally buy experiences. There are really unique gifts for men (if you’re not sure what to buy your boyfriend, I promise he’ll want many of the things they offer online). But I mean, there are about a zillion things that I found all over the US that I’d love to try one day. I love to travel, and I love making the best of my experience while I’m abroad, so this is honestly something that is so perfect for me (and will be for you, too!)

Xperience days has kindly given me a FIFTY DOLLAR (50.00$) gift certificate for one of you, and I can’t wait to see who wins! I can guarantee that if you’re planning a trip to the States (or live there) you will find something awesome that you can use this voucher on.

Here are the rules:

- Giveaway is opened to anyone who wants to enter, just keep in mind that it can only be used in the US

- Giveaway will run from Monday, January 16th until Sunday, January 22nd (11:59pm EST). I will announce the winner next Monday morning!

Here’s how you can enter:

1)  Leave me a blog post comment telling me you want to win! Don’t forget to leave me your e-mail address as well. (This is the only MANDATORY entry)

2) Leave me another blog post comment telling me what kind of experience from the website you’d use your gift certificate towards. It can be either for the place you live now, a place you plan on visiting, or to a place you really hope you can visit one day! (1 entry)

3)  Tweet the giveaway (you can do this once a day)! You can be inventive, or you can copy & paste this (1 entry per day):

” I want to win a 50$ gift certificate for @Xperiencedays courtesy of @melissaa24′s blog Press Play! http://dft.ba/-1wra”

4) If you’re feeling especially ready to win this thing, BLOG about the giveaway (it can be just one point in a post) and leave me the link to your post in the comments. I will enter you TWO times for this one.

5) Share this giveaway on your Facebook page! (1 entry)

Don’t forget to leave a comment every time you do one of the things above, and good luck!

Book Review: The Fault in our Stars by John Green

Book: The Fault in our Stars

Author: John Green

Type: YA real-life

Release Date: January 10th 2012

Publisher: Penguin Group USA

The Fault in our Stars is a story about many, many things. First, it is the story of a girl named Hazel Grace Lancaster and a boy named Augustus Waters. The two meet at cancer support group- Hazel’s tumors have shrunk considerably and are kept at bay with a ton of medication, while Augustus is currently in remission from a very rare form of the disease.

Together, they examine the very meaning of life and how it is possible to do great things when you don’t know how much longer you have left in the world. It is a story about love, loss, life, death, and everything in between.

I’d love to say more about the story, but even 4 days after reading it, I’m still having trouble coming up with the right words (and not saying TOO much)

What I think about the book

I don’t even know where to start with this one. I mean, I’ve been following the progress of it’s publication since John Green announced that he was coming out with a new book. I was so incredibly attached to everything this story was and would become, I just couldn’t help it. Because of that, I was worried about being let down or paying too much attention to the hype and letting it get to me.

Let me assure you all… That was not the case in the LEAST. Even though I was expecting great things from this story, it STILL blew me away in ways I don’t know how to describe. You may have noticed this if you follow me on Twitter, because I tweeted incessantly things like this:

 

While I reading this book I laughed, I cried, and then I laughed some more. Then I cried some more. John Green is not only incredibly witty, but you can sense the importance that exists in each and every single word that is in this novel. Every sentence is weighted, every conversation makes you stop and think.

My favorite things about the book:

I think the character development was spot on. Hazel and Augustus continue to grow and evolve from the first page to the very last. They have quirks, life stories, and such incredibly distinct personalities- you just can’t help but get attached. The secondary characters play a fair role in the story as well: Augustus’ best friend Isaac is a great supporting character that provides a different perspective on living the life that’s given to you. The one character I wasn’t *sure* about was Hazel’s friend, Kaitlyn. I thought she was really funny and interesting, and I understand that she was really just playing the role of the necessary “high school friend that Hazel can’t relate to anymore” but I still wondered why she was the ONLY friend that was ever mentioned on Hazel’s side when she states that she can only handle her in small doses.

John Green tackles life issues that are at once controversial but SO necessary to discuss. This is the kind of story that anyone can read and relate to. Everyone knows someone who knows someone that’s affected by cancer. Not only does he really get into the mind of cancer patients, but he gives readers this completely different view of what life is like when you’re not privileged to breathe on your own or have your five senses. He writes about teenagers who are STRUGGLING to get through every single DAY and still manage to think of people other than themselves. It’s SO hard to get into the mind of teenagers- I mean really, who knows what they’re thinking?! But he does it so well. Hazel is brilliant and strong for herself AND her parents, but she is still a sixteen year old battling a disease that will one day take her life. She is this completely multi-faceted character who encompasses the very essence of what this story is about. How do you come to terms at just 16 with the idea that you may not live to see another day?

The story between Augustus and Hazel is incredibly well developed. This isn’t one of those books that plays games with romance. It is an honest and truthful portrayal of two kids whose lives become intertwined because of this fate that was handed down to them. Their relationship has its ups and downs, and in my opinion is probably something that a lot of teenagers- despite their health- can relate to in one way or another.

My absolute favorite part?

I don’t think I could pick just one to be honest, but I think a big part of this book for me was the very way it was written. It’s so rare for me to have to STOP after reading a particular sentence to just let it sink in and to just actually understand it. I even wrote sentences DOWN. I never do that. I’m already ready to re-read the book (as you may have seen above in my tweets) and that is so completely unlike me.

I don’t want to over-hype this book or anything, but if you’re reading this review you need to read the book too. It’s so worth it and the amount of work that was put into it is immediately noticeable. Literally, the very first chapter you’re like “wow, how amazing is this?”

My rating: 5 out of 5 stars

On… Blog phases, comparisons, & writing anxiety

I go through phases on my blog. Some weeks I love writing and there just don’t seem to be enough days in a week to post. Other weeks, I’m at a complete loss about what I want this space to look like, so I just don’t write at all- and when I do, I’m never happy with the result.

Erin wrote a great post earlier this week called ‘The Comparisons‘ that made me realize that’s exactly what I’m feeling, but for my blog space. Although Erin was referring to the comparisons of love and life, I think the idea that she talks about works for every area of our lives.

I definitely compare myself to other writers and bloggers. Sometimes it doesn’t bother me in the least, but there are other times that I think to myself “why am I even DOING this?! It’s so pointless!“… Even though I know that it’s not to ME. Just, in the grander scheme of things it feels that way.

I still have a really big problem knowing that the people I know in real life can read my blog any time they want. I don’t MIND that they do, but still when people who know me in real life read my blog, I can’t help but wonder if they see me differently afterwards. That gets me all stressed out and then I just go through the ‘no-blogging’ phase because I’m not sure how much I feel like sharing anymore. It’s the weirdest thing, honestly, because I know my blog space is open and I love when people read it. It just makes me feel very… vulnerable.

Writing about everything that happens in my life for the world to see basically opens the doors for judgement, criticism, and a slew of other things that make me very anxious. Some days that just doesn’t bother me one bit, but every once in a while it makes me close right back up, and I feel like I’m starting at square one.

I’ve written about this a few times in the past; how difficult it is for me to be honest online even though I WANT to be. I think, what it comes down to, is the fear of people judging me for my writing. I can’t stand the idea of being vulnerable, and I can’t stand the idea of not knowing who comes by here and who doesn’t. I sometimes tell my real-life friends to just not tell me when they read my blog because I’d rather not know, but I guess it doesn’t matter either way in the end. It’s just when people say “I read your blog!” and don’t follow up with anything else I get really antsy.

I realize this post has basically no coherence anymore, but sometimes just writing about the fear of writing itself is enough to move past it for a little while. So here I am, announcing once again that although I love to write and I love that you are reading this, it still makes me very anxious to know that you are. I’m not LOOKING for compliments for my blog, but I think it’s just another step at staying honest with myself and with you, if you’re reading this.

In the end, I just want to be happy with what I do. I love to write, and I sincerely hope that I’m not making a complete fool out of myself when I do it. On most days, I don’t feel that way. But sometimes it’s nice to just put my fears down in writing. It reminds me that they can sometimes be really silly in my head (and less so out loud) but it also gives me something to look back on.

Do you ever get nervous or anxious about your writing? How do you overcome your writer’s block?