I came across this blog post, coincidentally at a time that I was feeling the same way:
“So please don’t shoot me down. Hate is such a weak emotion. Anger is such a motivating emotion. Try not to let your hate motivate. And don’t let your anger instigate, but let it insight change. thats the good weed. the right blood to bleed. i heard you were looking for me. you can’t find this. you couldn’t handle it if you found it. so don’t find it. i found it. the right way. the better way. a brighter day. i’d better say that nothing is over. this is not over. nothing is over. i’ll always learn more than you. because i fuck up more than you. yes the element is hot. even on the third time trying.
– the hard way”
(This is from jacob hoggard’s blog)
I wasn’t planning on writing about the most recent experiences of the last 2 days, but I think I’ve talked it over with enough of the right people to say what needs to be said about it.
Out of the blue last night I got an e-mail telling me that a friend of mine no longer actually wanted to be friends.
The e-mail goes on to hurt the feelings of everyone it was sent to…
Anyways, I waited 24 hours before replying it to myself and I don’t regret what I said because it was how I felt about what she said to me.
I’ve talked it over even more since then and I realized that the most important part about the whole situation is that I learn from the experience. I know I haven’t yet because I don’t forgive her for writing what she did. I know she did it right out of emotions but I still feel that it was unfair and poorly justified.
I know that I’m not done learning from losing a 7 year friendship.
It’s not over yet that much I know. I’m going to learn to forgive the situation even though I still strongly believe that it was incredibly wrong. It’ll just take some time.
I think Jake’s blog really describes those feelings well. Nothing’s over, nothing’s ever over. I think I’ll always be able to go back to this exact moment in my life and take something from it when I’m in a similar situation later on.
I’ll take a word out of his book: I’ll let my anger bring change instead of hate about the whole situation.
I think that’s all I have to say about that… Because besides this huge I think moment in my summer/probably life… Things are pretty good.
I’m really happy, and that’s what’s reminding me that everything is going to be okay.