I was checking the shoeboxblog.com and had to share the lists that they post… either i’m really bored or these are really funny. i’m hysterical:
* It will throw off my feng shui
* Global warming
* No mojo
* Got sucked inside computer like the movie ‘Tron’
* Being exorcised at 1:30pm
* Working on Obama imitation
* Cheeto orange fingers
* I’m too pretty to work
* I forgot to wear pants
* “Show of hands—who’s wearing thongs?”
* “Someone smells like sex!”
* “Aloha, Mr. Hand!”
* “So far, my first day out of prison is going great.”
* “I really wish I would have remembered my medication this morning.”
* “…and I picked up my clothes and stormed out.”
* “My water just broke.”
* “Am I standing too close? How about now? How about now?”
* “I cannot believe I made it through security.”
Only about 20% of what gets turned in gets accepted and becomes a Shoebox card.
Here, we feature the other 80%.
Another year, and you’re still totally with it.
So am I, but in my case, the “it” is my husband.
Daughter, I think it’s time we had “the talk.”
I waited until after you had kids so I wouldn’t have so much explaining to do.
Heard you were sad.
Call me when it’s over.
My cat doesn’t care how old I am, or if I look bad in the morning.
Or if I’m lying on the floor, unconscious and bleeding.
I care if you have a birthday. My cat probably doesn’t.
* “So very alone.”
* “Good. Real good thanks to your mom.”
* “I don’t have to answer that. You’re not my probation officer.”
* “Fair to partly none-of-your-damn-business.”
* “Well, the itching has stopped.”
* “On fire. But just my loins.”
Fun Explanations For The Stain On Your Shirt
* The walls in my apartment are bleeding, it’s probably nothing
* It’s a love stain.
* I’ve been really drooly since the stroke.
* My third nipple is a little leaky.
* Seems like every time I drink bacon grease I end up spilling it on myself.
* I ooze fun.
* I don’t know. It’s not my shirt.
* It’s either ketchup or blood and, really, I can’t remember which.
Alternative Names For Man Boobs
By Maureen & Allyson
* Dude Rack
* Man Cans
* Papa Tatas
* Victor’s Secrets
Okay, okay. that’s enough for now. I’m still laughing at that last one…