Twenty. A few days early.

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I’ve never tried to make a big deal about my birthday for myself, I know it’s a day like any other & I know that I’ll be turning a year older every time July 10th comes around… But I thought that in celebration of the fact that I’m turning 20, a new decade & an important one in my life at that (in my opinion) I would reminisce about all the years that have gone by and some of the important things that have happened.

I remember the exact moment that I woke up on July 10th 1999 when I turned 10 years old. I remember it so well because for the other 9 years of my life I was excited to be able to have 2 digits in my age, and because turning 10 was my “lucky year” (born on the 10th, turning 10…) I woke up with big expectations of my day. I don’t know what I thought was going to happen exactly, but I figured something really important would happen. Nothing overly exciting did end up happening that day- my brother took me to the mall and bought me my very first Furby (remember those things?!) which is still buried in my closet somewhere. I guess I always remembered getting that gift because that year had just been so special at the time.

It’s weird remembering myself 10 whole years ago… I don’t know how to explain it, but it doesn’t seem like I should remember myself THAT long ago. In the 10 years that have come and gone since, I’ve become a completely different person… but I guess some things never change- because here I am looking forward to waking up on July 10th 2009 so that I can have this whole new digit in my age. It’s really REALLY scary to think that after this year, the next time I hit a new decade I’ll be in my thirties. (I look forward a lot…)

In the first 10 years of my life I moved to a really small town (at the time) and met the 5 year old girl next door who, little did I know, would become my best friend for the rest of my childhood. The only reason I’m bringing her up in this post is because we’re still friends and we still talk… and I guess in my heart she’ll always be that first best friend & therefore still kind of is. I love this girl to death… We went through (ironically enough) a really strong 10 year best-friendship where we were completely inseperable. I’m talking about sleeping over every weekend during school, going over after classes were over during the week, taking turns at each other’s houses every single day during the summer… It was literally like we did not exist one without the other.
I remember this one time we were probably about 8 years old or something like that and we were lying on her bed thinking of the future. We were trying to figure out what the older version of us would be like, what kind of friends we would be like. We always imagined that we’d just live the way we do right now. But I remember turning to her and saying “Can you imagine us doing this one day when we’re SIXTEEN years old?!” This was a big year for me because it meant graduating high school and, in my mind, becoming an adult. The very thought of being friends, let alone existing together at the age of sixteen was the most mind-blowing thought ever. She turned back to me and said “When we turn sixteen I want us to remember this exact moment, so we know we’ve been friends for a really really long time”. And we did just that, 8 years later.
Although today we’re not nearly as close as we were 10 years ago, we still make sure to talk… and I know that if I’m in trouble, or if I need someone there for me… she’ll be there. I wouldn’t be me today without her. J’tame fort ❤

I think a really huge amount of the turning points in my life so far have come a bit later in life. I mean there were the obvious teenage high school transitions… but from my memory all of my biggest moments were from Grade 11 and on. The pressure of figuring out who to be and what to do at the end of high school, applying to colleges… Going to college & realizing that everything you did in the last 5 years was pretty useless, all those little dramas were so un-important. It’s funny to look back at high-school Melissa. I wish I could tell her that obsessing over who’s ‘cool’ and who to talk to, what to eat, what to wear… It’s all meaningless when you leave that place. I like knowing that I can go in my twenties with that piece of knowledge though. It makes me feel a bit more ready to head into the years of being a “grown-up” (as my mother would say)

I think the most important points in my life all revolved around friendships. That being said, the next most important one that I remember happened on my very first day of high school. I had gone to elementary school with this girl for 3 years- and we practically hated each other- she called me a snob and I called her something really terrible from the time… I can’t remember what. The first day of high school came and we found ourselves in every single class together, completely lost & knowing like 3 other people in the school. We were terrified. She looked at me in homeroom that day and said “I think we should be best friends. We should stick together in this place”… and we did. It’s funny how some friendships start… Now that I think back on it I never would have imagined that saying what she said could have been so STRONG. But I guess being a terrified 11 year old was strong enough… We became pretty inseparable in high school. Through all of our different circles of friends, boys, fights, everything… She is still one of the people that I make sure to see regularly. 10 years later (wow, actually 10 years this year) that I know her and I know she’ll easily be around for many, many more decades to come. I love you to pieces.

The last two people who have truly been around since the beginning are a bit of an interesting story (not really, but to me a little bit) They make me realize that some people are absolutely meant to be in your life. I met both of them in my first elementary school that I left after 2 years. We were friends but never very CLOSE. We then met again in high school where we slowly ended up hanging out in the same circle of friends. By college we were taking classes together & spending more time together, until one fateful day… we decided to take a small trip to NYC, just the three of us. The rest is kind of history, because I can’t imagine my life without them, nor will I ever have to. I love them both tons.

I can’t remember any other incredibly pivotal friendships that happened in my childhood that are worth mentioning- but throughout those years I certainly did meet some amazing people that have stood by me up until now. It’s weird because when you’re younger, you never imagine that the same people will surround you for your whole life. I find this especially strange because I was always one to imagine what being older might be like… and yet it never occurred to me that my life would be much like it was when I was a kid.

High school ended and college started with nothing crazy that happened. I remember the convocation cerermony only because I danced my way out of my high school gym with Agnes screaming “I’M DONE!” But I think everything else of extreme importance in my life happened in college.

In my second year(at the end of it) one of my closest friends sent me an email telling me that she wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. It was one of the biggest, most shocking emails that I had ever read. She went on to say that our friendship made her very anxious and she needed to get rid of the things that made her feel that way. So that was it. She was the first person I’d ever spoken to in high school (that I didn’t know from elementary school) and she continued to be one of the most important people in my life for the seven years of our friendship. But I guess everybody changes after high school, and to her, that meant not needing me in her life anymore. This month makes it one year that we haven’t said 2 words to each other. Although I do think about our friendship a lot, I’m not angry about losing it or about what she said to me anymore. I was for a long time, but I’m over it now. I am 100% happy with who I am and the people who’ve brought me here & have stuck with me til right now.

Since college I think there have really only been two other people that I’ve become close to that I can’t imagine my life without. These two girls… are my other 2/3rds. Triple threat. They completely complete me… however weird that sounds. Although music became a huge part of my life in high school, it was with these two people that I truly discovered what loving music meant. I’ve blogged many many times about our adventures and about how much I adore the two of them so I won’t detail it now… but like I said earlier, some people are just meant to be in your life and I really believe that about these two girls too.

I’m going to take a 5 second break over here to mention that it’s really hard to sum up 20 years of life in one blog post. If someone is still reading this right now… Congrats. I wouldn’t be reading this if I wasn’t writing it.

Anyways. There are probably dozens of other moments worth mentioning… Things I don’t want to forget… But as of right now I can only think of one other part of my life that’s worth talking about. Music. Although I’ve always loved it it’s only since I was 18 that it became 97% of who I am. All the shows I’ve gone to, the people I’ve met, the bands I’ve seen grow… My job at CONFRONT… So much has happened and I know that it’s only the beginning of something really important. I realized that I see music as not only a hobby but a career. Journalism, communications… It’s yet to be decided but I know that I’ll be doing something in this industry in my twenties.

It’s definitely strange, trying to sum up a whole life. I think that through everything, the most important parts of who I’ve become have definitely been the people I’ve met & the music I’ve been introduced to. The high school to college to University lessons all come with the deal, but those two things definitely make me who I am today. So Happy Birthday to me, a few days early. I’m excited to see what my twenties are like!

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4 responses »

  1. Did you visit Yan Tans blog mel?I READ EVERYTHING!!!!! It made me emotional. 10 years ago I was playing barbies…times haven't changed that much for me *cough*LOVE YA

  2. I read the whole thing too, and I admit that I have tears in my eyes. You are an amazing person and I can't imagine my life without you ❤ Thanks for EVERYTHING.-Agnes xo

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