I was listening to the new Hedley song called ‘Friends’ and it really got me thinking about friendships and relationships and what a huge impact they have on day-to-day life.
I’d like to think that I am incredibly fortunate with the people I have chosen to surround myself with. A couple weeks ago this incident happened with two of my long-time friends and I never wrote about it because I didn’t really want to. But today felt like the day. I really want to move past my feelings of sadness but more annoyance for what happened because I do still love the two of them and I don’t want to feel differently about them… Even though right now I kind of do.
Here’s what happened.
On the Saturday after my crazy week of road trips a couple weeks ago, I went out with a huge group of people for my one of my best friends’ birthdays. We all went out to dinner & then to a club downtown and it was a really great time, despite my being completely and utterly exhausted.
Anyway I just really wanted to go for a couple hours because I couldn’t imagine missing her birthday. Luckily, my friend K offered to drive me home early because she was going to be heading out around 1AM to sleep at my other friends’ house.
It was completely out of her way to drive me home and I really insisted that I’d find another way home but K told me that if I really wanted to go home then she would bring me. It was only after the 3 of us had left the club that my other friend, S, kind of yelled at me for being so insensitive and making K drive all the way to my place. She made me feel so terrible about the whole situation and K didn’t stand up for me and say that she was the one who originally offered to bring me home. I know I should have said something. There are a million different scenarios that ran through my head AFTERWARDS. But at the time, I just needed to sleep. So I somehow got sucked into a ride halfway home and then taking a rather expensive cab ride the other half way home.
What it boils down to, is that in the end I feel like I was left in the middle of nowhere because my friends didn’t want to drive the extra 15 minutes to my house. Instead they wanted to go back and hang out together rather then bring me safely home.
Part of me feels like I’m really exaggerating these feelings, but the other part of me really believes that this shouldn’t have ever happened. I shouldn’t have had to choose AFTER leaving the club whether I should accept a ride halfway home or just stay behind. These are girls that I have known for a very long time- one of them has been a friend of mine for 11 years now.
Later that same night when I made it home I was telling a friend from work the story- a girl I’ve known for less than 2 years- and she yelled at me for not calling her to come pick me up. I told her not to be ridiculous and she told me that if I was EVER stuck again to just call her. Imagine, a girl I’ve known for less then 1/5 the amount of time didn’t even hesitate before offering to be anywhere I needed her in a heartbeat.
Now that’s something.
The reason I’m detailing this is because I want to be able to hang out with these girls again. Maybe by my own mistake, I didn’t ever bring it up with her after the situation because, as weird as it sounds, I just didn’t have the energy to do it. I could never bring myself to talking to her. I have learned a few valuable lessons from the whole situation though.
a) Stand up for yourself always, no matter WHAT. It doesn’t matter who you’re talking to.
b) Be careful who you trust completely. Sometimes I’m reminded that there are so few people that I would trust with my life
c) Trust your instincts, always. I knew that it wasn’t a good idea to accept the ride. I should have just stuck with that and hung around with friends a few hours longer. I know I would have had a great time.
d) Be the kind of friend you would want to have. I know that I want to be the friend that someone calls when they’re in trouble because I would do everything to be there. It’s so important to have those people in your life.
I still feel like some events ultimately change a friendship, either for the better or for the worse. I do still love the two girls but I feel like something HAS changed. With them, but also for me. It reminds me of some of the qualities I really want to have as a person and the qualities I look for in the people that I spend the most time with.
… and then some.