I would give you anything to feel something else

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You know those little things your parents tell you when you’re younger that you completely disregard because you think they have no idea what they’re talking about… but then you realize years later that your parents were right?

Well, I’m having a moment where I’m realizing that my older brother was right.

For as long as I can remember, he’s told me that as you get older, time goes by faster & faster, make the best of each moment. Throughout my younger teen years he would continuously say this to me, and I would be like “okay, okay. I get it. Time flies. Have fun”. But time really does FLY. I mean, where are the weeks, months, YEARS going?! Sometimes I wonder if it’s just me. I mean, am I still 16 and I just had some really weird dream about the future? Because I literally feel like the last 5 years of my life have gone by in the blink of an eye.

That’s not to say that I haven’t made the best of those years. After high school, I’ve had some of the best times of my life. But I still miss all of it. I miss the fact that I didn’t realize how much responsibility I didn’t have yet. How completely free I was, how easy I lived life.

Even today, as I’m writing this, time is going by fast. I need to be getting ready for work already in 10 minutes, and it seems like I just woke up. It’s June 22nd and I feel like summer is already over. Everything is so booked. I’m always so busy… I never have time to sit down and just think about what I’m doing. I hardly have time to enjoy the good times because I’m so busy having them.

I just wish I could afford to work less, and enjoy life that much more. I want to find time to sit outside more often and just read, or just listen to music and sort through my thoughts. Figure myself out. Everything around me is happening so quickly I don’t even remember the last time I woke up feeling like I had an endless amount of time to just BE. No, actually I remember exactly when the last time was. When I was in Mexico. When I didn’t turn on my computer when I woke up, I didn’t rush to get into the shower and take the bus to work. I woke up and I listened to music on my balcony enjoying the early morning as the sun came up.

In August I was supposed to go to Cape Cod with Jenia & her family for a vacation, but because of the Oil Spill spreading all over the place, her family has decided on going to Prince Edward Island instead… which is MORE than fine with me. Spending 10 days on a little island at the end of my country with nothing but two friends, music, books & sun sounds perfect.

I can’t wait to just sit back and regain a little bit of myself before going back to school.

I sure as hell need it.

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One response »

  1. I can understand all of your emotions in this. But unlike you, I don’t feel as if I’m taking enough risks and opportunities like I should in life. But there does come a time when you realize you’re taking too much on and leaving little time to enjoy what life is throwing at you.

    I think your vacation in August is going to be awesome, and such a great time to unwind before life gets hectic again.

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