I’ve been searching my brain this evening for a good topic to write about, and it basically smacked me right in the face a couple hours ago when I opened my University transcript and saw a nice big F next to my Calculus course.
I don’t think I’ve ever failed a class, ever. I actually feel fairly convinced that it’s not possible that I got that grade because I left that exam feeling pretty confident about it (yes, I am contesting my grade and will be seeing how I did so badly on it), but the truth is I’m really afraid. I’m afraid to go to my teacher’s office and to see that I did, as a matter of fact, fail. What do you do when your 100% isn’t enough to get you through?
I’d love to be able to pep-talk myself here, but the truth is I really can’t. I’m too worried and nervous. What if, even when I try to fix my grade, I’m stuck with that big disgusting F? I don’t know how to come back from that, especially when I need the class to get into my program of choice.
What do you do when you work towards a goal that you can never quite reach? What path do you take next, when the one ahead of you has a big huge roadblock? Do you try and get through it, or do you turn around and try a new road?
I didn’t have any other options for myself if this happened, I kind of just assumed I’d find a way to make it through. Right now I’m still crossing my fingers and hoping that there’s a big mistake somewhere that can be fixed and give me the grade I need, but if I’m being realistic I shouldn’t get my hopes up.
I need to start thinking about a Plan B. I don’t know where to go from here.