Well, I finally did it. I completed my very first year as a real deal University student on Thursday night at 10PM, when my final exam was actually over. It was kind of bittersweet because I knew I would be taking classes in the summer… but more on that soon!
University is absolutely not what I thought, but at the same time it’s everything I imagined. Mostly, it’s just really hard. Three classes (2 tougher ones and one easier) was plenty for my first year back after almost 2 years out of school. I’ve always been an honors student, but University showed me that things can change. I took classes that I knew weren’t my strong points, but I got through them. Well, except one.
I failed my very first class (yep, I really did. Saw my teacher, saw my exam, I really messed that one up) and finally, a week later, I learned to accept the fact that I’d have to re-do it. Originally, I was going to take two classes for the first half of the summer session, but a friend of mine made me realize that as much as I just want to get all those math courses out of the way, why rush it? My mom said the same thing to me, and I realized they were 100% right. I’m taking a class that is clearly really hard for me, why push it by taking a second class that’s going to be equally as tough on me? I’m in no rush, besides the fact that I want to get accepted into my program, but if I’m going to do it I want to do it right.
My first year of University taught me that just trying to get things done for the sake of doing them is not right. If I have homework assigned to me, I need to give it my all, and I can’t procrastinate it. Especially when it’s homework that I’m not good at. I’m tired of being the student who gets distracted by 8 million little things (*ahem* Facebook.)
After dropping that second summer class, I instantly felt better about finishing school. One class is totally manageable for six weeks and it allows me to work, save up for my vacation & hopefully ace it this time around.
Most importantly, I’m trying to make these school decisions on my own, with a little advice from people who have been down the same road. I feel like this is the hardest part in my life- University- not only because it’s expensive, but because it truly feels like the rest of my life depends on getting it right. I want to be happy in school and in doing whatever I choose to do, and by trying to push myself into getting everything done at once I was going completely against that.
I’ll get my classes done whether it takes me 3 years or longer (obviously longer at this point) but I’m not going to turn into an angry student and do something that I don’t enjoy. If I don’t like what I’m doing, I’ll change it. University taught me to do it because you WANT to- it’s too hard to have it any other way.
So, instead of cringing about summer school for the few days that I was actually free of studying and homework, I dropped one class and I’m going to put all my energy into passing (with flying colors!) Calculus instead. I’m still a little bit stressed out about prolonging the amount of time before I get accepted into a Business program, but I’m hoping that my perseverance at really getting this right will pay off next year instead of this year.
No one told me it was going to be easy and I shouldn’t have pretended for even one second that it would be for me. This year reminded me that I CAN enjoy school but I need to do it on my own terms, without everyone telling me the way I should get my classes done.
So as of this summer, it’s all up to me. And I’m finally excited about it again.