I have a confession to make. I’m a single girl, and I’ve been single much more in my life than not. There are many
excuses reasons for it, but it’s mainly because of this: I’m very picky.
I am, it’s true. I definitely had my chances to NOT be single from the age of 14 or 15 and on… I just never really took those chances. I always found something wrong with the guy; he was never right, he was never the one I wanted, he didn’t fit the idea I had in my mind. Yeah, I’m very picky.
It’s crazy for me to look around at all my friends (both in real life and in the blog world) who are in long term relationships, moving in with their significant others, dating regularly, getting married, having children. I’m not really doing any of these things.
I have another confession to make. I’m more than just picky. If there is a guy hitting on me, I can tell almost immediately by looking at him and considering the way he talks whether or not he’s my type. I hardly even give myself (or them, really) a chance. I don’t know what this is called, but I’m going to call it too much judging.
I mean, I can also admit that I’ve relaxed a lot about this in the last year or two. I used to be much worse. But I still do it. I did it just the other day, in fact, and that’s when it hit me that I shut myself off to opportunities without even giving myself time to reason WHY I do it. Why is it that I don’t want to be single, and yet I’m constantly giving myself
excuses reasons to be?
There’s something else, too. Actually, there are a lot of ‘something elses’. I’m full of them. I could probably spend an entire blog post just listing the reasons that I’m single– the reasons things have never worked out. If I’m being honest though, even if they all make sense in my mind and I stand by my logical thinking, it doesn’t make it any easier. I’d still love to be one of those girls mapping out my future. Instead, I’m feeling stuck in this particular spot in my life. I’m not saying that I rely solely on the idea of a relationship to move myself forward, I’m just saying that I’m getting tired of going to my hairdresser and having to explain yet another time why I still don’t have a boyfriend.
I’m running out of excuses to give him.
Also, why is it that the strangers that walk in and out of your life- and you know what, come to think of it, even the friends that aren’t around as much as they once were- feel the need to ask you what your relationship status is? I know it’s just a conversation topic, but does it have to come up EVERY single time and remind me that I’m not quite measuring up to society’s standards? The constant reminder isn’t helpful. I feel like with all of the technology we have going on, I’m missing some particular piece of the metaphorical relationship puzzle. Where the hell is everyone meeting their boyfriend/girlfriend? Is it just not my time yet?
Okay, fine, maybe it’s not my time yet. But, I have one last confession to make. I just kind of wish it was.
How’s that for an honest post?! But seriously, tell me about how you met your significant other, tell me your tips your ideas to dating, your ways to overcome your anxiety about it? I really would LOVE to know.