I wasn’t going to make these mid-way through the month posts a regular thing, but it helped me so much in January, I figure it can’t hurt to try again.
Because so far my February 12 Changes are going VERY badly. The idea for February was to continue my healthy living from January and get back into a fitness routine to compliment the healthy eating habits I developed last month. I started off February really strong by hitting the gym a few times a week… And then I got kind of sick and it all went down the drain.
I’m admitting full on failure because I promised myself that I would hold myself accountable for everything I was doing in my 12 Changes program- good or bad- so that’s what I’m trying to do, even though this is not a fun post to write at all.
After getting sick, midterms started to creep up on me, along with a million other tiny things that I had to do before this weekend when I leave for my trip. My problem when I mix school with everything else is that I become very one-track-minded, and I forget to make time for myself in a productive way. When I purposely choose to sit down for an hour I don’t WANT to work out, I want to catch up on some TV or reading.
I think that’s always been my biggest problem: I make myself feel guilty for doing things for myself when I’m in the midst of homework and work and family gatherings. I reason that if I don’t have enough time to finish studying, why should I give myself an hour to work out? I realize this is not very logical, but it’s the way I think- I just can’t help it.
No matter how much I want to be the kind of person who goes with the flow, I will always be a worrier when it comes to getting important things done. I let myself go in these more stressful times because I don’t want to have to think of all the extra little things I *wish* I was doing while I’m working on something that isn’t very interesting to me (like studying).
As of this evening, my midterms will be finished and I will have absolutely NO reason to not get ahead on my goals and put myself in a good place for whatever comes my way in March. I don’t want to give up so easily; I want this mid-month check in to be a reminder for myself. I may not be able to change who I am, but I want to change my unhealthy habits, and that has to start somewhere.
One of the big things I’m doing differently compared to last month is that I don’t have my list of goals up on a wall to look at every day. I’m not looking at my daily reminders, and I *want* to be. I thought I would be able to hold myself accountable without seeing my plans every morning, but I think it helped a lot more than I realized. So I’m going to find a way to do that again as of tomorrow.
Luckily I’ve still been eating really well (except a few cheats, what can I say, I’m stressed! A girl needs some M&M’s to relax once in a while!) but the exercise thing is getting the best of me for now. I’m *really* hoping that my vacation next week with two of my most health-fanatic friends will boost my motivation levels way back up. With a gym in our hotel and no more worries after today except packing, I want to get back to the gym, back to the Jillian Michaels work-out (even though I hate her while I’m doing it) and back to feeling good about myself every day.
How are your February goals going so far?