Growing up, I always felt like I understood my life. In high school it seemed like everything made sense- I knew what I wanted to do with my future, everything seemed set in stone & the world was just a neat, organized place for me.
As I get older, I realize that this is not me anymore, not in the least. Life is constantly throwing new emotions my way that make me re-think my whole life. Especially in the last few years, nothing seems to make sense anymore. I wake up one morning ready to travel the world, and the next I want to settle in school for 3 years and finish my Bachelor’s degree. Depending on my mood, it seems like I’m ready to take up a new adventure. The reality of the situation is that I don’t *really* know where I see myself in 5, 10 years from now.
I think people kind of call this a quarter life crisis.
What will I study in school? Will it make me happy? Where will I travel? Will I meet someone who will sweep me off my feet & take away all my worries? When the HECK am I going to meet someone who will sweet me off my feet? Where will I be when I’m 25 years old? Will my life be the same thing it is now, or will I have found some kind of career or passion that I am able to fully pursue?
Every day I wake up with a million questions swirling in my mind. There are so many things I envision for my future; so many possibilities that could maybe make me happy, but what if none of them even come true? I’ve met people who are older than me and still don’t have their life together. I’m scared that I become that kind of person. I know that I’m smart and talented, but what if that isn’t enough?
I hate that each day a new problem seems to come up in my mind. Some days I am so confident in my writing, and other days I wonder if that’s even a skill that’s worth having. Some days I am so happy that I am a passionate, creative individual. Other days I wish I was less of that and more just smart. Maybe if I followed my heart less and just studied more, I could do something worthwhile. But I know, deep down, that wouldn’t make me happy in the least.
So what would?
Life is a constant struggle. I know my problems are SO minor compared to what some people go through every day, but the truth is I’m just trying to discover who I am. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and wonder if I’m 22 and making all the wrong decisions.
I recently purchased The Joy Equation through the Stratejoy blog, and I’m really excited to see if it helps me discover my passions and myself better. I want to stop waking up feeling indecisive and worried about my future. I want to be able to just be happy, embrace the things I am good at, and use them to enrich my every day life.