Decisions, decisions.

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Growing up, I always felt like I understood my life. In high school it seemed like everything made sense- I knew what I wanted to do with my future, everything seemed set in stone & the world was just a neat, organized place for me.

As I get older, I realize that this is not me anymore, not in the least. Life is constantly throwing new emotions my way that make me re-think my whole life. Especially in the last few years, nothing seems to make sense anymore. I wake up one morning ready to travel the world, and the next I want to settle in school for 3 years and finish my Bachelor’s degree. Depending on my mood, it seems like I’m ready to take up a new adventure. The reality of the situation is that I don’t *really* know where I see myself in 5, 10 years from now.

I think people kind of call this a quarter life crisis. 

What will I study in school? Will it make me happy? Where will I travel? Will I meet someone who will sweep me off my feet & take away all my worries? When the HECK am I going to meet someone who will sweet me off my feet? Where will I be when I’m 25 years old? Will my life be the same thing it is now, or will I have found some kind of career or passion that I am able to fully pursue?

Every day I wake up with a million questions swirling in my mind. There are so many things I envision for my future; so many possibilities that could maybe make me happy, but what if none of them even come true? I’ve met people who are older than me and still don’t have their life together. I’m scared that I become that kind of person. I know that I’m smart and talented, but what if that isn’t enough?

I hate that each day a new problem seems to come up in my mind. Some days I am so confident in my writing, and other days I wonder if that’s even a skill that’s worth having. Some days I am so happy that I am a passionate, creative individual. Other days I wish I was less of that and more just smart. Maybe if I followed my heart less and just studied more, I could do something worthwhile. But I know, deep down, that wouldn’t make me happy in the least.

So what would? 

Life is a constant struggle. I know my problems are SO minor compared to what some people go through every day, but the truth is I’m just trying to discover who I am. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and wonder if I’m 22 and making all the wrong decisions.

I recently purchased The Joy Equation through the Stratejoy blog, and I’m really excited to see if it helps me discover my passions and myself better. I want to stop waking up feeling indecisive and worried about my future. I want to be able to just be happy, embrace the things I am good at, and use them to enrich my every day life.

 

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12 responses »

  1. I’m debating on whether to purchase Joy Equation now. I hope you discover a few answers soon! I’ve been feeling lost for quite some time now so I relate to this post.

  2. You know how much I can relate to you on this! I’m so glad you went and purchased The Joy Equation because I think it will help you so much on discovering who you were meant to be. I’m hoping to purchase mine soon!

    The thing about our early twenties, is this is where we were MEANT to be. We were MEANT to be searching and figuring out ourselves and discovering the path we want to take. It means we are not settlers, we want more than the mundane for our lives. And gosh darnit, we are going to find it!

    It’s a confusing time, for sure. But I think there’s a beauty in sorting through the mess, because it’s only through that mess we’ve grown to hate that we’ll find the person we were meant to be.

    Hugs, lady. We’re going to make it through this. ❤

  3. OK, take two of trying to leave you a comment. I hate wordpress.com’s new commenting system! ARGH!

    Anyways, here is the jist of what I wrote before:

    In the last year or so I’ve really tried to start focusing on living for each day more than anything. I think so many twenty-somethings are just trying to get “there” but they don’t know where “there” is. I’ve found that if I wake up in the morning and think “how can I make TODAY great” I am much happier. I will admit I’ve been failing at this a bit lately because I’ve been struggling with some stuff (but there is an end in sight thank god) but I think this is a really important philosophy. Just focus on enjoying each day and the rest will come 🙂 I hope the stratejoy program helps you out!

  4. I am 31 and still obsess over many of these very same questions. It does get easier/better as you age, and you will feel less panicky about everything – at least i have. But there are still so many unknowns!! Sounds like that course will be really helpful, though. My friend Becky did it and LOVED it!

  5. Hi

    A few thoughts – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWjNFC-FinU
    starting will Lilley Allen’s song 🙂
    Some things that have guided me in the past include working out what gives me goose bumps! Also, when time time seem to fly for me – I am doing something and I am so absorbed in doing it that everything else disappears from my conscious mind – (for me it is writing)
    I always like to check that my decisions lead me somewhere positive and mostly somewhere new – and not running away from something.
    One last comment – try to enjoy who, what and where you are today – then tomorrow will go with the positive flow. Lorraine

  6. yyyt uy uyuy uy ynun <—Jude wanted to comment.
    Ok…these are great posts. I wish I could blog more like this…and many times I write them in my head but they never make in to the computer. So I commend you on that.
    Anywho, I wish I could answer your questions, but I think what is really important is that you relax and change your perspective. Instead of being afraid of your unpredictable future, be excited about it! (i know easier said than done, right) You are smart & talented and that is more than enough!
    🙂 No worries, friend. you are awesome.

  7. I’ll be really curious to hear what you think of the Joy Equation! I’ve only just started reading Stratejoy as I’m in a bit of a QLC myself. I NEVER went through any of that, at the end of high school, college, or grad school. Part of me feels like I’m at a stage where it’s all supposed to be figured out, but I guess since I’m just 26 I’m right on track for a literal “quarter” life crisis, ha!

  8. I feel the same! Thinking about what I’m going to do with just the next year of my life is enough to freak me out! Just take comfort in knowing that everything will work out okay in the end – it always does.

  9. Well, I’m in my thirties now and can STILL relate to your feelings in so many ways. Do I scare you now? 🙂
    Don’t be… a lot of things will be easier, but it should also be comforting to you that it seems like we never really arrive at a place of full contentment. I think that is just what life is…. a never-ending search of who we were, who we are, and who we want to be.

  10. I still encounter some of these questions. But it doesn’t freak me out as much as it used to, because if I had all the answers than what would be the fun in figuring them out? Plus I’ve found that many of the people who you think have all the answers are really just as confused as you are most of the time. Good luck answering all your questions!

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