If you don’t succeed, try & try again.

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I think one of the reasons I’m constantly doubting myself is because I feel like I’m always trying too hard. Some people have the ability to be amazing at anything they set their mind to, and yet when I pour my heart & soul into something I don’t often get the results I’d hoped for.

And so, I’m constantly doubting myself. 

I’ve applied for so many internship positions over the last couple years; so many writing gigs, promotions internships, and other various random little things that I’ve found. I’ve so rarely gotten the jobs I set my sights on, it often makes me wonder if my talent is all in my head. How do you convey to someone that you KNOW you’re right for the job, even though you don’t have all the experience of someone who’s 10 years older?

I’m a very passionate person. 

Sometimes, I wonder if this is my biggest downfall. When I decide that there is something I want to do, I put so MUCH into trying to achieve it. So why do I so rarely succeed?

These are the kinds of things I worry about for the future. When I’m done school, will anyone be willing to take a chance on me? The jobs that I have in mind aren’t the most ridiculous, high-end, or high-paying jobs out there. But they still require skill and ability. I know I can do it, but what if no one else believes in me? What if they believe in someone else more?

I often feel like everything I’m doing is for nothing. 

I’m putting all this time, money, effort and attention into school and into jobs that don’t pay, but what if that just isn’t enough? Is there something else I need to be doing? The future is so uncertain, and that’s scary. I want to have opportunities. I want to make enough money to be financially stable; to move out, travel, be independent from family & to be able to start my OWN family.

One day, I hope I find at least SOME thing that makes my uncertainties less uncertain. I hope someone takes a chance on me. Even if it’s in a place that’s not *exactly* what I want- if I can even start getting closer towards one of my goals, I’ll feel like I’ve got a fighting chance in the world.

I’m not done trying yet, though. 

I’ve learned that I love getting out of my comfort zone. I try and try again, because I still feel like somewhere down the line, it will mean success. Someone WILL notice that I’m right for what I want to do. The things I’m working on today that I don’t necessarily love? They’ll pay off later on and I’ll be able to wake up every single morning happy.

I still have hope, and because of it, I’ll keep trying to be who I want to be. 

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14 responses »

  1. I think that the thing that’s going to make you a really good asset is your determination, your passion and the fact that despite everything stacked against you, you keep going. Stay strong and stay resilient. When you find that one thing that makes all this uncertainty worth it, it’s going to be better than anything else you’ve tried to get.

  2. I believe in you. And yes, it’s scary as hell to be living without certainty, but just think, you could have a comfortable (read: boring) life, working at a job that’s “meh,” and not chasing after your passion. Following your dreams means putting yourself outside your comfort zone, which is EXACTLY where you are right now, which tells me you’re doing everything you should be. Keep up the great work! Things will fall into place.

  3. I love what you said that you keep at it even if things don’t go your way. You are a strong young women and you want so much out of life. That is great! There is definitely motivation and drive within you. I know how you feel with applying for jobs and internships. Trust me one good thing will come up out of the many things you apply for. Something will always turn up. You are very talented in what you do so there is no doubt that you will land the job of your dreams. I also want to travel, and money is an issue. Just take it one day at a time and you will see that you are where you are supposed to be at this moment.

  4. I definitely understand the frustration of feeling that others have it so easy and that they always get what they want, when you’re struggling to find the acceptance that you think you deserve. I’ve definitely been there. But you know what? The thing is: other people (probably) fail too. Many times at that. We just don’t know about it and it just looks like everybody else’s life is going according to plan.
    We have to remind ourselves that everything in life requires effort and determination (which you both have!) and that everything will work out at the end 😉

  5. I feel like you took the feelings right out of my head. Applying for jobs and internships is this big gamble. Why the hell is something so important such a gamble? We sit around and wait for our numbers to be chosen, just like we sit around waiting for the six balls with numbers on them to match the ticket we are holding in our hands and it SUCKS.

    However, keep the hope. Some days it completely disappears for me, then it comes back. We gotta have that hope or else we’ll fall into a total pit of despair.

  6. Hey Melissa,

    I’ve been reading your blog for a couple of months now and even if it’s not that much and that we only read and learn about what you agree to share with us, I can tell this one thing, you’re worth it. Otherwise, why would people come and visit your page again and again? I can tell I’m inspired by your life goals, the life lessons you sometimes talk about here and I also can feel how passionate about some topics you are.

    I don’t blame you for doubting, I’m a 23 years old girl dreading the same things as you do, sharing the same dreams and obsessions as you do (Harry Potter forever^^). I’ll just tell you this, you go girl, the world is waiting for you.

    (Sorry if there are any English mistakes… I’m French)

    Yep, even in Paris you’re famous 😉

  7. Oh, girl, do I completely understand where you are coming from. I feel that way so much. I wonder why I keep failing in finding my passion, or even why I keep failing in the baby steps I AM taking to discover that. I mean, we went over this one that day that shall remain nameless, haha.

    Truth is, we have to keep trying. The other option is to NOT try. Even if we fall on our faces 100 times, one time we won’t. One time, someone will take a chance on us. Yes, all those failures SUCK. No ifs, ands, or buts. But sooner or later, if we keep pursuing our passions and putting our hearts on the line, success will happen. We just cannot let ourselves become too beaten down, too disillusioned that we settle for the mundane.

    We are destined for big things.

  8. I know it’s hard to believe it will all work out, but it will… When I started my career in my early 20s, I feel pretty unchallenged at times, and I felt like I was in a lot of ruts and dead ends. But it all worked out. When I took my current job, my boss told me that I was going to see that all the jobs I’d had along the way led me to where I am today. And he’s totally right. Which is crazy because it felt like a hodge podge, and i def felt lost quite a bit in my 20s.

    Hang in there. Someone will take a chance on you! I promise! Keep working hard and never lose that passion that you have because that is going to help you achieve your dreams!

  9. Hey, I don’t have any wisdom to share, really, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m right there with you. I too feel like I get passed over a lot for things I really want, and I always feel like I KNOW I could do it if someone would just take a chance on me. It’s hard to get people to take those chances, though. And I also have a lot of big dreams. It can be hard, sometimes, but it’s definitely better, I think, to keep trying and keep dreaming than to not dream at all, or to settle for less than you’re capable of doing. So just keep going! Eventually something will work out! As my friend Winston Churchill once said, “Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm”

    PS. I’m new to your blog, but I think now I’ll keep coming back!

  10. I think if you took a survey, most of us feel this exact same way. I know I certainly do. You are so determined and passionate, somewhere along the way, someone will take a chance on you. Its hard to keep going when you’re not getting responses. Its hard to have faith that someday the stars will align and everything will fall into place. You just have to have hope that it will and someday it will finally happen. Hang in there. I know its hard, but its the journey that makes us stronger.

  11. I feel this exact same way, as I’m sure you know. You have so much passion and I admire you for that, I know you’ll go on to great things…and those things will happen in their own time 🙂 I’m behind you, friend!

  12. Pingback: Inspiration from around the world « Press Play.

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