My life feels like a big roller coaster. Which is a weird metaphor for me to use, considering I have so much trouble getting on an ACTUAL one. (seriously, ask my friends!I am either refusing entirely to try one or screaming my brains out on the baby ones). But it’s true; I have such ups and downs, highs and lows, sometimes I wonder when life is just going to become a smoother ride, slow down, and come to a stop somewhere safe.
I’m always looking up (or down) at the next turn, loop or dip ahead. In March, when I was having the toughest few weeks of my year, I was aching for the last day of the month to start over again in April. It seems like I’m always basing my life on what’s next- where I’ll be, what I’ll be doing, and what fun adventures are waiting for me. I’m always searching for a greater reason to being here, but when will I slow down and just be happy for a little while? I want to do that today.
April has been good to me. In between interviewing some of my favorite overseas bands, to seeing my beautiful nephew hit his first half birthday, to getting a job at my school that opens up a window of exciting opportunities for the year ahead, I have VERY little to complain about.
At this time exactly one month ago, I was praying for a light at the end of the tunnel. I was writing about my anxiety with failure and the way all bad things seem to pile on at once, and how nothing seems to be working out. Today, I just wanted to remind myself that it’s not always going to be as bad as it seems in any given moment.
When you’re having a really bad day, week, month, or year, remember there will always be a silver lining to the cloud above your head. Where there is failure, success is sure to not be far behind (for those who strive for it), and where there are emotionally difficult times, the heart learns to heal and find other things to be filled with.
Today I feel good. I’m on a good path. I am reminded that when things didn’t work out and I was afraid for my future, it was all for a reason. Because really, everything DOES happen for a reason. There are still many parts of my life that I question this about, and every time I feel like I am wrong, the world finds a way to show me that I am a stronger person for those moments.
I’m not saying everything is perfect, awesome, rainbows and unicorns. There are always a million tiny things on my mind; bits and pieces of my life that seem like they SHOULD be better, but just aren’t. Right now though, I’m feeling like things are going to turn out okay. Even though I’m still stressing about my very last final exam (tomorrow!) I’m still seeing the good things, and I’m proud of everything I’ve managed to do in the last couple months to get to where I am. I took chances on myself, and although it doesn’t ALWAYS pay off, sometimes, it does.
What are you proud of yourself for today? When was the last time you took a step out of your comfort zone, and took a chance on yourself?